GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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