She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
