Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!

Fav 12 1067 3801
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(636): View more from Missouri

Ridin mah bike see you on the moon

Fav 23 7483 987
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(770): View more from Georgia

i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

Fav 27 7490 1739
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

Fav 15 2689 1282
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(765): View more from Indiana

I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.

Fav 5 2166 884
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.

Fav 4 1576 862
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(320): View more from Minnesota

Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.

Fav 3 514 970
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(432): View more from Texas

My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age

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