I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
