guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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