i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize