So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
