Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
