I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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