I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
