I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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