I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize