i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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