one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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