Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
