My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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