They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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