I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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