Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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