I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
