I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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