So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
