Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
