why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
porn star boner night. come get it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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