im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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