I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I met the friendliest cop last night
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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