How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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