soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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