apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
