It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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