I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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