I think I died a long time ago.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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