he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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