OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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