Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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