can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
