Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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