I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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