Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
