There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
