Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
