Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
