i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
