i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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