You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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