ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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