I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize