Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
