just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
