He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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