i permit you to call me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
