So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
