i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
