the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize