Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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