I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
