Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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