I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
