Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I need to calm my uterus...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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