I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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