its not stalking. its research.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
